Only in my twisted bizarro world would we be celebrating not one, but two anniversaries on the same day.

With neither of them falling on that particular day.

Yes, ffffolks, I truly did forget that it was the one year anniversary of this website.

In August of 2011, daughter SW and I put this site together in several afternoons, following months of theoretical discussion.

So, I have spent the last 12 months learning what it is like to get a  website up and running and to take care of ongoing maintenance.

And, no, I cannot say that I did not expect to be fighting for my life, once again, by the time of this one year anniversary.

I had hoped otherwise.

But expect --- ?

Well ----

Yes, I did expect.

But that is because I ALWAYS EXPECT!

But the surprise inside of my mind says things which are quite to the contrary of my outward shell of a self.

It does not seem to be really so sure about any of this.

And that makes two of us.

Or is it three?  ---- or ---- ?

Or none, maybe.

Who really knows.



Anyway, just letting any who care know that I am still kicking and screaming as they drag me off to where people like me get dragged off to.

In the meantime, more cleaning, more wiring, more software, more hardware.

Oh, and did I forget?

More video studio lighting.

Very interesting.

Hope to show results before too long.

Many curve balls have been thrown at me in rapid succession during past weeks/months/years, with full-on acceleration being the norm.

Most of them are very ugly and destructive and unnecessary.

They are a tribute to the people upon whose planet I am (temporarily) stuck/trapped.

( ---  "trapped in a world he never made".)

My ability to cope with all of the madness has been reduced to almost nil.

That is when it is time to go into "war mode".

But, with every single step unstable and uncertain?


It is like learning to walk all over again.

Only this time I fall into a pond full of hungry and angry crocodiles who are just waiting for me to teeter over so that they can have at it.

It is not a comfortable feeling at all.


"Weary is the head which wears this crown".

Some are forced to take the crown by circumstance.

Why any would take it any other way escapes me completely, knowing full well what this saying means
and why it has become proverbial,
if not apocryphal.

Well, that's enough fun for now.

I really do have to get going.

Just wanted to touch base and let everyone who matters to me know that all is pretty good here.

Much pain.

But all well-deserved,
if that is any consolation.

And well taken, I should add.

w/love to all,


Ventura, California, 11:45 a.m.

p.s. the second anniversary is my one month of being alive after should be dead, once again.

Does that equal a new life?

Or a continuation of the former ones?

Or some kind of a hybrid?

All I know is that for the sake of those to whom I am the closest I am glad that I am here.

And, accordingly, I am celebrating September 17, yesterday, with a solemn silence and a time of deep introspection.

I am sure there are some who are reading this or who will be, who will also be very glad for this.

As I always tell any who have ears to hear with,
thanks for all of those prayers.

I would be doomed (if I am not, already), without them.

I take the matter with utmost seriousness.

I believe that the horrible experience which I have just gone through on Mykonos and following, says it all.

Do I really need to say more about what a slim thread we are actually dangling by?

Or how important your prayers really are to me?

I covet them earnestly.

What more COULD I say?