There is a popular song called "Feelings".

There are songs which speak of "feeling --- and being in love".

Or "that loving feeling".

Or "the thrill is gone".

And who could ever forget "Gloria": G-L-O-R-I-A, Gloria.
Coming to KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, on my door.

Or "you give me fever".

Etc. etc. etc. - the list could go on and on for months;  maybe even years.

So, what does this tell us?

That there is some kind of common conception which links love and feelings and sexuality, all into one very unhealthy lump.

It is easy to see the feeling and sexuality going together.


Look at what has happened here.

FEELINGS have been substituted for LOVE, in the sense of self-sacrifice.

Doesn't sound like too bad of thing at first glance, yes?

That is, until we start looking at the physio/chemical basis of the "feelings" which are being called "love", with sexuality replacing self-sacrifice, in a very twisted and bizarre way.

As I told yesterday, it is really all about RESPECT!

Respect can grow over the years, each and every year that you live.

"Feelings" cannot.

Neither can "sex".

Don't believe me?

Then run a query on Viagra, and hope that you don't get linked to all of the weird sites which I did, inadvertently, several years ago.

Need I say more?

They are simply trying to maintain their waning sexuality in some strange attempt at staying young forever while aging faster and faster (exponentially) by the second.

Do I sense some sort of a disconnect from reality here, or what?

Sexuality does not grow with age.

It diminishes.

Oh, but what about those "feelings".

Surely they will be there still?  Yes?

Uhhh, hmmmm, NO!

Let's step back for just a moment and look at a highly oversimplified picture of just what is going on here.

Most people are familiar with the concept of "fight/flight".

Your body is fully adrenalized and pumped up and ready to either tear your attacker to shreds, if at all possible, or to run as fast as possible in order to effect an escape.

The same system which causes this all to take place can also create and control what we call "emotions".

For example, everything is going just fine.

The telephone rings.

You just somehow know that it is going to be VERY BAD news!

You shudder, visibly, as you suddenly realize that your stomach is full of "butterflies" and you are quickly going from feeling really good to feeling, first, a liitle bit sick, and then upon answering and hearing the voice on the other end, and just beginning to realize the gravity of the situation, you now find your stomach full of knots as you suddenly feel like you had either better sit down or fall down.

This has all happened in a matter of seconds.

How is that even possible?  one should be asking oneself, rather than simply taking the matter for granted because it has happened to so many of us so many times.

Chemistry, is the answer you are looking for.

Specifically, the chemistry of fight/flight, or of emotions and emotional (i.e. physio/chemical) responses.

As any woman who is in menopause, or who is about to be, or has just finished, knows, hormones can cause the wildest of mood swings (oh, did I forget those who have to live with this?).

From happy one moment to crying and screaming the next.

We all begin to wonder about their sanity as well as ours, just as a matter of course, it being so plain that this is what is at issue here.

That is the power of chemistry.

Imagine when the body wants to make babies.

Do you suppose there could be a chemistry related to this?

Pheromenes, and all?

This is why the feelings are, quite simply put, completely unsustainable.

It is like the second law of thermodynamics (from higher order to lower order to entropy) has come into play at high speed.

So, if a relationship (read, MOST relationships) is based upon feelings, what is going to happen either when the feeling is gone, or when it has been replaced by something more mature or growth-oriented?

Now what will happen is one of the saddest things which I have ever seen (and that would make it VERY SAD!, indeed).

The rest of the entirely unsustainable relationship (complete with expensive wedding, expensive children, and now expensive divorce = OUCH! = that's getting way too expensive for my blood) is now spent trying to resurrect that "feeling", which has long since vanished, along with the chemicals which actually caused it in the first place, in some kind of grand cosmic joke, which is NOT funny.

So, now the house will be filled with the saddest sounds ever heard.

O.K., choir, let's hear just one more refrain---


I can't even begin to tell you just how much my skin bristles and how angry I get at the sound of that thing.

So, where is the mutual respect?

It went out the window within a year, or two at the most.

Everything after that is and has been make-believe.

And there just went your life, like a vapor, or like the morning dew which we are told that it is so similar to.

gotta go.

plenty more to say, I am sure.

1:03 p.m. (dst, actually)


Ventura, California, USA