When most people think of love they think of emotions and emotional responses.

They do not think about cleaning dirty diapers all day and all night long, or calming little children who are teething and thus screaming all day and all night long.

No, instead, they think of boy and girl somewhere that they will soon be having sex if at all possible.

This is the sex=love=sex nexus.

In the prior post we established, for purposes of this writing, that underneath all love, properly defined, there is a huge layer of self-sacrifice.

That, effectively, love = self=sacrifice.

If I were say "I love this person" I should be meaning that I am willing to give my life for their's, immediately, and without hesitation.

Instead, most people mean that they want a shallow sexual relationship, with some object attachment.

Of course, this is bound to get old, and fast.

It's all of those extra hours in the day which I referred to in last post.

You have to live with or relate to or have some kind of meaningful social intercourse with a person who is simply not up to the job.

And as time goes by, it becomes more and more obvious as both parties continue to move in opposite directions until there is a final and often violent parting of the ways.

So, we have emotional responses which are mainly object oriented (as in substitute mommies and daddies) and we have true self-sacrificial behavior standing alongside one another with each claming to, in fact, be LOVE.

So, how is it that nearly everyone will think of emotions instead of self-sacrificing actions when one hears about two people "being in love"?

Is there even such a thing?  and if so, exactly what is it, in physical/chemical terms, if it may be properly analyzed as such.

This is an area in which there has been a tremendous amount of research during the past several decades.

We are all now very aware of the "limbic" system.

Many of us are very aware of autonomic responses, often caused by operant conditioning (think Pavlov's dogs drooling at sight of meat), of the primary role of the amygdala, which rests against the nuclear acumbens, which is the source of orgasm.

Deep within the diencephalon (our "lizard" brain) there are just so many strange things going on of which we remain mostly unaware, while, nevertheless, responding as if we are very aware.

The entire emotional system operates via neurotransmitters (e.g. norepinephrine, dopamine, adrenaline, serotonin, etc.)  which cross nerve synapses (spaces between different sections of the nerve) so that the substances may be regulated with a great deal of precision.

We are essentially "prisoners of our emotions" without even knowing it.

This is because our emotions are chemcially induced.

They are "feelings" which are caused by a bunch of chemicals being dumped into our blood in a huge cascade which may begin to repeat and amplify at any given moment.

How ironic that the responses which are caused by sexual attraction (pheromenes, anyone?) and stimulation via the limbic system become the stuff of songs and movies as if a very temporary physio/chemical response could become a permanent state.

Therein lies the fantasy.

Once again, all of those other hours in the day will become a real pain a lot sooner than one would expect or hope.

So, what exactly is it that is happening when someone claims to be "in love" or "falling in love", etc.

Is it really as shallow and hollow as it sounds when framed against self-sacrifice vs. physio/chemical response caused by imagining oneself having sex with another?

Is it, in the final analysis a crass case of object attachment?

With the new (and completely unknown) "love object" now replacing whatever lost love objects exist in one's life (I am sure there are many with most of us).

Is it really more like a relationship with a pet animal than it should be?

Oh how often I have seen just this.

The husband ends up taking the dog over the "wife".

And I do not joke at all in so saying.

Must go for now.

It's been fun.

Hopefully more to follow.


w/love of all kinds


Ventura, California

8:25 a.m. pst