I wrote this song,
at 3 a.m.,
this morning.

After having several weeks
of normal hours of sleep,
I am back to my horrible insomnia again.

Haven't slept in days,
except for a little bit of sleep
yesterday morning.

So, I found myself wide awake
at 3 a.m.
and completely unable to sleep.

What to do, what to do?

How about write a song.

That's always a good thing to do.

This song is a good example
of voice leading
of which I will have more to say,
later, I hope.

When one studies
various different combinations of sounds,
one, soon enough, finds out
that one combination
will very naturally change
or resolve, as we call it,
into another combination.

When one writes a melody,
there is a sort of natural flow
from one note to the next.

One direction will sound right to the ear,
while another will sound wrong.

While there are
underlying physical reasons for this,
all the composers and listeners
need to know
is that one way of doing things
will sound better than another.

After years of creating
and playing with melodies,
one develops a sense
for what the next note
or series or combinations of notes
should be
in order to keep the music flowing.

It seems that I am in high speed tonight (sadly)
as I wrote melodies much faster than I normally like to.

I had been complaining to myself lately
that I seem to be writing too slow.

The song before this,
was a particularly good example of that.

It was going at a funeral dirge pace,
where I was concerned.

Now, don't get me wrong.

I love slow songs.

So much so
that I used to pull all of the slow songs
off of albums
and make tapes
(in the old days of reel to reel tape recorders)
which I would then repeatedly listen to.

I like the meditative quality.

And I like to go into deep contemplation
while listening.

Fast music is just not as good for this.

However, playing slow all of the time
is the same as having a continuous crescendo,
as is so often done
in pop music
during the past couple of years
(think Miley Cyrus and Whitney Houston).

It's like a "one trick pony",
to me.

All cresecendo = noise.

All slow = can degenerate into tedium,
all too quickly.

That is why I have been
beating up on myself
about this matter
during the past several weeks.

So, my deepest inner self
decided to
have a little bit of fun with me tonight
as my fingers took off
and my mind had no problem keeping up.

But, do I like it?

I don't know.

But, here is the funny part about that.

I NEVER know right after writing the composition.

It is something which I simply cannot explain,
but it is truly so.

It is very rare for me to say,
Oh boy, 
I nailed that one,
didn't I.

As a matter of fact
many of the songs just simply grow on me
as I listen to them several times
while trying to understand
what in the world I just did.

I'll tell you in a couple of weeks or months
what I think.

Until then
I just want to wish
all of you fathers out there
a happy father's day.

And encourage all of you children
to call your dad's
and tell them
how much you love and appreciate them
(even if you don't?).

I believe that family
is the single most important thing
most of us have
and that it should be valued
and cherished above all else.

That is not to be said
of every single family member,
but for those
who have shown their committment
to their fellow family members.

It is by loving one another
in spite of all of our warts and wrinkles
that we learn
to love our neighbors and selves
with little or no conditionality.

How we love and be loved
in our homes
will determine much of
how we will treat our fellows
at work
and on the street.

For example,
whenever I get ready to have road rage,
I consider what I would do
if that other driver was
one of my children,
or brothers,
or sisters,
or parents.

It really chills me out.

Speaking of which
I actually did almost
run my own mother off the road
one day,
before realizing who it was.

Boy were we both shocked.

Her, way more than me.

Since she was the errant driver,
at least where I was concerned.

Just a little bit awkward
to explain
and to have explained to me.

On that note,
I will try to get a few hours of rest
before going out to brunch
with my mom
and several others
of my dearest and most beloved.

They treat me so good
that I am really embarrassed.

I have to wonder
whether they are all deluded,
or something worse.

They assure me that they are not.

So, I guess I will just go with the flow.

Love you all
and hope the best for you.

w/ astounding and abounding love


4:22 a.m.
Ventura, California, USA