Am leaving for the northern hinterlands,
once again,
in a few minutes from now.

Hope to be at my regular spot
this evening
and tomorrow evening
for dusk and sunset,
if not the entire day,
(I hope).

just a very brief note and update.

Had a very nice visit up in SB last night,
with a nice dinner at Hendry's
after a beautiful afternoon and sunset
at the secluded beach where it is located.

Lots of local color.

And because it was Friday night,
more male super-egos
than I am used to seeing
all in one place.

You would have thought some of these
people were guarding the Hope diamond,
or the crown jewels.

I couldn't move several feet
without someone letting me know
I was in THEIR space.

A veritable kid in a candy store
in terms of Freudian psychology,
of which there was much going on all
around me.

Could have written a book
on this one location alone
as we closely studied all of this
local flora and fauna.

What a scene!

And makes me SOOOOO glad
that I am many years past such
nonsensical and fruitless behavior.

And these people wonder why
they are unable to sustain a relationship.

As I told "the Wood",
after twenty years of
divorce courts
and criminal courts
(following seven years
as a rescue paramedic),
I see things a lot different
from most.

It made me very good
at seeing where it is going,
instead of where it appears to be now.

Makes it difficult to get too happy about.

And then watched one after another
of all the people
who I knew when I was yonger
go through the same nightmare,
complete with several
very tragic and messy suicides
(I will spare you the horrific details).

So one might say that I have moved
from somewhat callous
all the way to fully jaded,
when it comes to such matters.

" --- Oh the webs we weave
when once we set out to deceive ---"

And then our whole lives become
nothing more than one lie in one form
piled upon another lie in another form
until we are stark raving bonkers from it.

My advice?

Don't go down that road,
unless you are willing to pay
with your sanity
and your very being
(i.e. your soul).

Because at some point
"the Piper" WILL turn up
and demand payment.

And payment will be due.

And he WILL get paid,
like it or not.

So, how do you like them apples?

Oh, come on.

I'm not really that uptight.

But I have,
throughout my entire life,
always tried to call it how I see it.

Often at a great and terrible expense,
I should add.

But, guess what.

My soul and my internal psychic integrity
are both very much alive and well
and becoming more healthy by the hour,
instead of less so.

And that is something
very much worth havihg,
I should think.

I am quite happy with the choices I made.

How about you?

Can you really say the same?

I sure do hope so.

If, not,
then it is surely time to change course.

Your mental health is just far too important
to give into the hands of anyone.

Remember that,
the next time you are wondering
about such matters.

Well, on that downer note,
I really must get going.

Enough introspection for now.

Only because duty calls,
once again.

Hoping the best
for all of my beloved ones
and wishing you
a wonderful weekend.

I expect to be back Monday night,
with any luck.

Hope to have a song by then,
or soon thereafter.

I am wondering
when the next "happy" song
will happen
---- ever?

I was laughing last night,
to myself,
while listening on return trip,
at just how dark the last composition was.


Sometimes I even scare myself
(lots of times, actually).

In the meantime,
love you all,
very much ---

w/ intense and fervent love


8:48 a.m.
Ventura, California, USA