It is actually 12:30 a.m. on 4-30-13.

I backdated this
because I wanted to
write it before midnight,
but got caught in a "bounce to disk"
for over twenty minutes
as midnight approached
and passed,
so that I would have two posts
back to back with the same date,
if I did not backdate this one.

This post is intended
for purpose of documenting
the date and details of the event
being discussed.

This is what happened:

I was at my regular pulloff
to watch the sunset last night
in northern California.

It was about six p.m.
when a silver colored vehicle
which looked something like a Mustang,
pulled up directly in front of me
and parked.

First the driver got out,
then the passenger.

The driver looked bored
while the passenger was taking photos
with a small portable camera.

The driver got back in
while the passenger remained out
and continued taking photos
of the very beautiful landscape/seascape.

Both had their backs to me.

A voice went through my head saying,
the passenger will turn
and try to steal a glance at you".

Of course I did not believe this,
thinking it to be nothing more
than a single crazy and wild thought
just running through the place,
gone completely wild,
for the moment.

As I continued to look
I suddently realized that I either was looking at j,
or another who is a dead ringer for j.

Sure enough before "j" got back into the car,
the head turned rather slyly in my direction,
as if to steal a glance.

I had already begun to get up
out of the car seat
and stood up alongside the driver's door,
at attention,
watching and waiting.

The look and feel of surprise was palpable.

It was a look of shock
to see my face staring back hard
into the twilight
while trying to see
if it actually is j
standing there in front of me.

I made eye contact with "j"
for several seconds.

Then j turned and got back into the car,
sat for several minutes,
looking at the photos "j" had just taken. 
and then left.

It was cold and windy with dusk light.

I really do not even want to think
about the matter,
but remain very puzzled,
in the extreme,
as to what, exactly, 
is happening
and why.

I have already documented
several of these
doppelganger incidents
and have purposely not documented
several others which have,
taken place.

Three or four have taken place
at this exact spot.

But I DO want
to make sure
that the date is documented
in case it becomes relevant
at some later time.

That is the primary purpose
of this particular post.

I can only wish that j has what it takes
to walk up to me
and acknowledge my
(rather tenuous)

You are forgiven, by me, j,
and I have pretty much gotten over
my highly visible extreme anger and outrage,
caused by someone in your group
making false allegations to your
local provincial gendermarie
(or is it gendarmerie?),
who in turn threatened me
with arrest and prosecution.

So you have
and pointlessly
put me
in a most difficult spot,
because I am now unable to move
for your benefit
without further endangering you
and me.

I only wish you could find it
in your heart, j,
to forgive me for any perceived wrongs,
and to
"come in from the cold",
rather than later.

You have been cheated greatly,
without even knowing
or why.

People who cannot possibly have
adequate factual basis
are all too happy to render
"what to do" opinions,
one after the other,
and all completely WRONG!.

They DO NOT,
and, indeed,
have any idea
of what I am here trying to accomplish.

That is between you and I
and no other/s,
no matter what anyone tells you.

I cannot
and will not
until this matter
is rectified
and remedied.

the things which can only be told in person
and in the strictest confidence.

I cannot tell you without talking with you.

Sooner, rather than later, preferably.

You may choose location.

I would recommend:
ancient oak reserve
(Los Osos).

Good place to walk and talk.

w/intense and fervent love for you, j,
in the most sacrificial sense imaginable


12:48 a.m.
Ventura, California, USA

" ---
One sword, at least,
thy rights shall guard

One faithful harp
shall praise thee

The Minstrel Boy
Trad Irish song

"Friends don't let friends self-destruct."


I can see your predicament.

And I understand why people self-destruct.

I will not allow your self-destructive behavior
to ruin our otherwise constructive relationship.

That is a very tall order.

But I am very well practiced at it.

This is why I simply forgive and forget
when it comes to persons
who have been driven there by desparation,
as opposed to malice.

I am with you all the way.

That is what the "unconditional" part of
unconditional love
I think ---

What do you think?