I wrote this sort of
warmup compostion for pipe organ
this morning at about 10 a.m.

The title of it is:

I had a meeting at noon
that I had to get ready for,
so I had to cut things short,
not getting to bounce to disk 
until 10 p.m. tonight.

As you should be able to hear,
all too loud and clear,
I am in a sort of melancholy funk
at the moment.

Much good news,
but interspersed with horrible news.

Why can't it ever be just good news?

But, better than all bad news, I guess.

Numerous funerals and horrible goings on
during the past couple of months
until I am a pile of emotional wreckage
looking for somewhere to collapse and hide.

It has been rough
and getting rougher and rougher,
with no end in sight,
so far as I can see..

But, for me,
that's just another day.

Time to get tough
and get on with the job at hand.

The organ is just all too perfect
for such reflective moments.

Am trying hard to break out of this funk,
but things just keep getting thrown in my face,
one after another,
until that becomes less and less likely.

Or so it would seem.

But, do not be fooled.

That is only part of the story.

I am my ridiculously cheerful
and optimistic self
most of the time,
in spite of all of the madness
which I am surrounded by.

As a matter of fact,
a waiter at a restaurant
I regularly eat at
went out of his way
this very night
to stop me and
wanted to know
how in the world I can be
so cheerful and happy
all of the time.

Oh, if only he knew
how much that is not the case.

I feel like a tiny little island of sanity
trying to prevail
in a world which is filled to the brim
with lies,
and lack of sanity.

Doesn't sound like
a very sustainable state of affairs,
does it?

Somethings got to give.

My job is to see to it
that it is me and mine
that prevail in this madness.

And so we shall,
as we always have.

But that song is for another day.

Tomorrow is my deceased dad's b-day,
with my untimely deceased brother's birthday
following one and one-half weeks later.

And then tax day.

Now if that's not enough to bring on melancholia,
what is?

Oh well, I know this too shall pass.

Love you all.

And thinking of you all 24/7.

w/intense and fervent love


11:05 p.m.
Ventura, California, USA