I had a beautiful drive down from up north,
with rain every inch of the way.

Which is a good thing,
where I am concerned.

The normally very heavy
southbound Sunday traffic
was all missing.

One of the few times
you will get a clean shot
from point A to point B.

The past several days
have been more than a little emotional for me,
as I am in a terrible state
of continuous
and very powerful
inner turmoil.

I got back to Ventura
at about 6 p.m.
and was tired
to the point of being
a little bit nauseous.

Sat down at 8 p.m.

Went to bed at 10 p.m.

Thought I was getting up at about 2 a.m.


Try 11 p.m.

Oh no, this is not good,

I am 

Sleepless in Ventura,

once again.

Only this time,
in a really bad sort of way.

I am beginning to wonder
whether my body will finish giving out first,
or my mind?

Or both,

it seemed like a really good time
to write something even quieter
and more mellow
than usual.

As I was pondering the matter
for a few minutes
(please remember,
I am deliriously tired)
my hand fell down
onto the keyboard.

Nice sound,
I thought to myself,
as I looked down
and saw that I was on an "f" key.

Haven't played in the key of F in awhile,
I thought to myself
as I quickly turned on the digital recorder
before giving me time to realize
that I think I don't know how to play in F.

Only F minor.

I hate major keys,
and rarely,
if ever,
play in them when composing.

I just don't go for that
"happy" all the time
when it comes to music.

Cute, --- but for such a limited time.

And heaven forbid
you should have to hear it
more than a few times,
as it will shred your mind
into the worst sort of drivel-fest imaginable.

I speak from very harsh experience
regarding such matters,
I can assure you.

as I was closing my eyes
and thinking
I began to see a pair of eyes
which I looked deeply into
several nights ago.

I looked deeper
and then more deeply
as I was writing.

Very interesting stuff.

I can't tell too much,
lest I breach confidentiality.

Hope you enjoy the song.

And especially the pathos.

I hope your heart breaks in pieces,
right along with mine.

misery does so love it's company,
doesn't it?

w/love & misery


12:30 a.m.
Ventura, California, USA